Tuesday, October 31, 2006


This evening I will spend this ghoulishly fun night with Juicy J, Snickers & the red headed Aunt.
I am so hyped! It seems like so much fun!
I haven't gone "trick o'treating" in years.
Hopefully next year I will be invited to a Costume Party!
Or better yet KSD and I will be planning one for our business!!!

I need a laptop.
I am a Microsoft kinda of girl but a complete sucker for good marketing & advertising.
So Apple has gotten me!
There commercials are so funny, and there ad in the Instyle really sold me.
I can make mini movies and all kind of fun stuff.
It cost more than say a Dell but would be worth it!
So I will have to relearn how to use a computer by learning a MAC.
Oh well...

Monday, October 30, 2006

Time to grow up...

I have decide to embark upon a career.
I found a job at the Food Network that I am applying for in the Marketing Department.

It looks fab!
Now don't get sad, I love acting.
I couldn't ever totally leave it but I have to make money.
I am sick of doing jobs that pay nothing wishing that my big acting break will come through.

I could go into teaching.
That is what my degree is in and I'm good at it.
If all else fails that is what I will do.
I am a little reluctant because I have to get certified and that involves lots of test.
I don't like test.

So I am off to the library to score some "how to write an awesome cover letter" books.
I'm hoping that will get me in the door.
My amazing personality will get me the job.
The resume is a little shaky due to years of temping, but I've got mad skillz man!
Hopefully the cool people at Food Network will notice.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Memories of the J.C. Penny Catalog...

Around this time, every year you could find the brother and myself
stretched out on out brown shag carpet, joyusly flipping through the beloved
J.C. Penny Catolog.
For Hours!
It was thick, shiny and arrived in our greedy hands only once a year.
We would immediatly flip to the back to the toys.

They had everything, from bikes to games.
They even divided the book into girl toys and boy toys.
The brother and I would drool over all of the things we wanted.
We would then bust out a pen or magic marker and circle our favs.
It was the best.

Then that magical morning of December 25th would arrive and we would have a fantastic
display of toys spilling out from under the tree in our livingroom.(One time my parents oddly decided to put the tree in the basement-but that is another story)
Several of the items were from the fantabulos JC Penny Catolog.

I believed in Santa until 4th grade when Andy N. & Clay W. told me that he didn't exist.
I was sad but I had heard the rumors that he was fake for a while so it wasn't a total shock.
But my parents went above and beyond with the Christmas thing, which was fab and made for great memories!
We had everything from a real tree, to lights, to carols playing on the stereo, stockings hung, an over abundance of -oranges, Christmas candy including candy canes, christmas cookies, and Mr. Magoos Christmas!!!!

As an adult I wondered how my parents bought the presents, hid them, & then snuck in the gifts on Christmas Eve, because I was up before the sun on Christmas morning and I couldn't sleep the night before.
Plus I was super secretive about my list to Santa.
I would write it out and seal it in an envelope and then we would take it downtown to the main Post Office where they had a cool mailbox that went straight to the North Pole.
How did my parents find out what I wanted.

Then I was told the secret.
That JC Penny Catolog was planted by my mother!
She would just go and by the things we circled!
Smart Cookie the mother is!

I have learned from the best and when it is time for my childrens Christmas-
I haven't seen a JC Penny catalog in over 15 years!
Do they even make them?!
I think I have time to work on a scheme!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Stare o'Shame...

I was riding the "6" train on my way to babysit for Baby Safiyah, when I noticed the woman sitting next to me touching her face and getting very close to her nose.

I went into stare mode.
I wanted to shame her into not picking her nose on a public train.
I wanted her to know that she was not being sneaky, that I saw her, in plain view!
And that she was nasty!

I also stared to make sure she wasn't trying to itch her nose.
That has happened to all of us.
Your nose is itching like crazy, and you need to scratch it but you don't want to make
it seem like you are digging for gold!

So I continued to stare as her fingers did a slow drag near her nostrils.
But she didn't do it.
Thank God.
Because I probably would have had to move my seat and I was quite comfy.

I was trying to figure out why the stare mode works or where I even got it from.
I realize that it is a mother technique.
If you were out in public and started doing something foolish then your mother
would stare you down.
And you knew to stop because you were caught and were going to get your butt beat later.

So maybe the girl on the train had the same kinda of mother & realized I had caught her
with my stare, so she stopped.

The worst is when I pull out my stare and it doesn't work.
I live in Jackson Heights, Queens which is a major mix of Asian, Middle Eastern, Columbian, & Dominican peoples. (needless to say I am one of the few African-American chicks at my train stop)
One day on the "F" train this man was diggin for gold in his nose.
I pulle dout my stare and nothing.
He kept on digging and flicking his boogers!
I then pulled out my mean black mama, don't make me come over there gaze.
He kept right on digging!
I don't get it!
Maybe the stare is cultural to America because the girl on the "6" train was Caucasian.

KSD noticed that I like to "parent" children and people.
Maybe that is it.
I guess some other people would just turn away or move seats, where as I bring out the STARE!

Thursday, October 12, 2006


I have dreams and passions.
Things that I want to do with my life.
I want to:
work in event planning (eventually open my own event planning business with KSD)
write the script for my short
loose 80 lbs
get a new apartment
pay off my bills/get out of debt
Live my life like its golden!

But for some reason I get stalled and overwhelmed.
I do nothing.
I get nervous and ask myself: can I really do these things? Do I have the resources?
But I've started to realize that GOD has given me talents.

God Given talents:
I really like working and interacting with people.
I enjoy cooking and think I am pretty good at it. I am even interested in studying to get better.
I have a great smile.
I honestly love customer service! I enjoy giving the customer what they need and even showing them options that they never considered.
I like to write.
I love to laugh, and think I have a great sense of humor.
I love children and interacting and working with them.

For the past couple of weeks I've been watching Christian TV in the morning.
I need the extra support & foundation to make it through my day.
This morning Zachery Tims said that God puts us through set backs and test so we can get ready for the BIG test.
he gave the example of David & Goliath.
David, while protecting his sheep, was faced with a lion and a bear. (2 separate occasions)
He managed to kill both animals.
When his people needed someone to slay Goliath, David remembered that God had helped him kill the other 2 animals, so he knew it wouldn't be a problem to kill Goliath.
So God had created situations where David trusted God & himself. He developed FAITH.
I have to remember things that God brought me through in the past.
HE isn't going to leave me now.

It just is scary and makes me uneasy because I am always thinking what if I put in tons of effort and it doesn't work.
Then what do I have.
Maybe I had something in the past that I put a lot of effort into and came up short.
But I keep coming up with good things that I worked hard at:

When I was on academic probation in Undergrad & then worked hard & made the Deans List every semester there after.

When I totally submitted to God's Plan & lost 70 lbs.

I have to come up with some others but those 2 were big for me!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Things that I want to put out into the Universe...

1.) I want a job where I love to go to work everyday! Where I have fun and work with fair, honest, good, hard working people. I also want to make good money=enough money that I can go on vacations, indulge in entertainment, have a savings that I don't need to dip into & still pay my bills on time!

2.) I want to get out of debt.

3.) I want to erase clutter from my life and actually enjoy doing it.

4.) I want my "Boaz" to come for me when he & I are both ready!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Transition Sista'....

I am thinking about going on my natural journey, again.

I haven't had a relaxer in a couple of months, and honestly I love the way my new growth makes really cool waves when I pull my hair back.
I like it so much that I feel like it is way better than straight hair.
Then I remembered how fly YA YA would wear her natural hair on America's Next Top Model.

I went through this in January 2005. I was going through a major transition in my personal life and felt that my relaxed hair was dull and listless. So I cut it all off.
I rocked a "TWA" for about 7 months, but it just wasn't me.
I love glamour and I wasn't getting what I needed from my hair so I relaxed it and have been happy about that choice.

Until my new growth started to come in.

This time would be different because I would "transition" into my natural hair.
Leaving in my permed ends but allowing new growth to come in.
And then gradually cutting out the permed hair until I have my natural hair at a decent
length for styles.
I plan on transitioning for a year, but I think its worth it.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


I just want to say that I hate everyone at my job!

I hate almost everybody, and I just wish my damn period would start!

Dumb Ass Bitches!

(Hopefully Aunt Flow will come visit soon, and this will all be over)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Today is the 3rd of October, and the day SUNSHINE was born!
How amazing & delightful that is!
My wonderful mother loves to retell the story of my birth starting with the night before.
And I love hearing it! She remembers so many details-like how when her water broke (despite her doctors orders) she refused to go directly to the hospital with out a shower. (If you know my mother you aren't shocked)

I've gotten great birthday wishes, cards and even a few gifts!
I am blessed with so much love!

My godfather/Uncle in Atlanta called and recounted the first time that he saw me.
It was the sweetest story and I don't think that I had ever heard it, and being my mothers brother he remembered details like the yellow ribbon my mother had put in my hair!
It was the sweetest most endearing thing!

Enjoy the day, I will!

Monday, October 02, 2006


Tomorrow is my 29th birthday!
I am super excitied!

But as I get older my face has changed.
I was blessed with clear skin on my face.
I have had horrible boughts of eczema since I was little but my face was always clear.
Even as a teen, I never really had the "horrible" acne stage, until now.

Its totally gross! My face is broken out!
And it always is conected to my PMS.
I can literally wipe oil off of my forehead!
It is sick!
I've gone to the dermetologist so I'm sure it will clear up and other people who truly
have suffered from acne are probably wanting to straight up smack me, but it is
a problem for me. A minor problem with a solution but a problem none the less!