Love & the STRONG Black Woman...

So I'm "in like" with this brother that I haven't allowed myself to like in the past 6 months.
It's a lil scary.
I really had my heart broken in my last love affair, and I really don't want that.
My mind was doing everything to block this brother.
If he sneezed wrong, I was through.
But he would keep calling me.
Now I admit that he didn't do everything right, I had some legit reasons to be pissed at him.
But we had a talk the other morning and he expressed that those small things weren't worth throwing away something that has potential.
He was right.
So now I am "in like".
I am allowing myself to be open to him, and the possibility of this thing growing.
I'm not perfect but I have this perfect image of the man I want.
He didn't match some of my criteria so I was done, when he did anything wrong.
I quickly put him in the "jump off" or "friend" box.
Was that fair?
I don't know but at the time I thought it was.
I was STRONG, protecting me from wayward men who weren't putting my feelings in the forefront.
I have all these notions:
If he does "A" then I'm out cause that is a sign that he is:crazy, cheap,controlling, a wife beater, etc.
But that isn't necessarily fair.
Sometimes, its just a situation. Especially if he is willing to talk about it.
And this guy is a talker. He is a good communicator.
He actually asked me to talk about our issues.
I was amazed and very happy!
We actually sat down and discussed things.
I've never experienced a man leading that before.
I like it and I like him...

I rocked this audition!

WOW! its been forever since I blogged! I had a really good audition yesterday!
For a play-the "Spoken Word" version of Medea.
I did so well the director told me "You set the bar very high!"
I am super excitied. She said she will let me know by Wednesday.
Keep sending the prayers up!

New Celeb Crush....

I have had many celeb crushes-Marlon Wayans, Maxwell,Raphael Sadiq,I could go on. But my new man is Lenny Kravitz! WOW! I love me some him!
He is talented and all artsy & the brotha is waiting to have sex until he is married to make sure he is connected to the womans soul, & mind.
Be still my heart!

WTF!!!

It must be time for my period because I'm not in the mood-at all for the BS!
I have got to get accepted into one of these programs in the UK!
SERIOUSLY!
I can't take not acting and being creative, and for lil' money!
Bitch Please!

Making Moves...

I'm making changes-
thinking about moving to Harlem-which means a roommate but less rent.
thinking about grad school in London
thinking about doing what I need to do to get my body in shape
thinking about having, inviting, needing love in my life-in many forms
thinking it isnt wrong to crave deep soul connecting relationships romantic or platonic
thinking about living in warm L.A.
thinking that I've never been to New Orleans or Miami
thinking that I need a beach vacation
thinking that I need to be in commercials for that $$$
thinking that I'm so blessed to be free to create the life that I want!

I've got alot to do in this lifetime. i'm trying to work it out now.
I don;t have all the answers.
Lately I've felt lost.
There is this person inside me yearning to get out,
but she is stuck. By my blocks and fears.
I'm taking the steps to block those fears and I realize that I can not
do it alone...

Oh to play catch up!

The Colored Museum-was a success sort of...Due to lack luster ticket sales we only did Sunday's performance, which meant my dad flew to NYC for nothing. Thing is I got a great monologue out of it and I had a ball. Plus the friendships I made were everlasting.

"Why We Wax"-This was my first experience with editing. Never tell people that you are in something. I was originally supposed to be the focus of the movie. I invitied all my NY fam and co workers to the premiere, and I was in it for like 1 minute. DAMN! The director decided to go another route. I had fun and got a free wax from the best ladies in the biz. But damn they could have warned a sista as I would have gone by myself istead bringing 10 other people with me. Lesson learned.

Which leads me here to NOTHING.
I gotta get some help because I really stand in my own way.
GOD PLEASE HELP ME!

Yes I'm smelling myself...

Loving...
Current mood: loved
Category: One is the Magic Number Life

I am loving me some Kamilah Michelle!

From my curly, kinky mane to my full lips, to my fleshy arms to robust breast to my soft chubby stomach to my thick thighs to my skinny legs to my size 7 & a half feet-I'M LOVING ME!!!!! Totally.
I love my mind, my sweetness, my wit, my humor, my knowing what I want and not taking any bull shit. I love the woman I am and who i am becoming.

I honor myself. I respect myself. I teach young girls and women how to do the same. (It's a passion of mine) Self love self esteem loving me.

I am a Divine Creation of God. I am from HIM-He is a part of me.
(Aint that cool )

As Jill said in "One is the Magic Number":
So many times I define my prideThrough somebody else's eyes
Then I looked inside and found my own stride,
I found the lasting love for me
If I'm searching for my spiritualityPassionately
I must begin with me
There's just me...One is the magic number

UPDATE:: I need another beauty habit like i need a hole on the head

I totally forgot to mention that last Tuesday I officially became "Brazilian" and I loved it!! I did major meditation/yoga breathing and pulled through like a champ.
(i do have a high pain tolerance so don't go based on my experience)
I went to the best and first place to bring Brazilian waxes to the US-J Sisters!
And to top it all off I had the original J Sister Jane. She is the one who decided to go to America and wax in the 80's. She was fab! I'm hooked on them now.
I must be a closest exhibitionist because I wasn't put off by the camera. Plus I knew they were only shooting my face.
Jane did tell me that i will now attract a boyfriend...

Hi Guys!
Damn its been more than a minute since I posted!
I have a new apartment in BROOKLYN (bed-stuy to be exact).
Its a two room studio or jr. 1 bed room how ever you want to phrase it, but its DOPE!!!!!
And after i finish trickin it out on the decoration tip!!! Watch OUT!

In acting news-Rehearsal is going well we only have 4 weeks until the show so we are on the grind!
Its going to be a good show, I'm having so much fun with the characters.
(And the theatre is in walking distance from my new apartment!)

Everyday it gets better and better or awesomer & awesomer!

Let me clear something up...

Yes I am in a documentary about waxing.
I will be filmed from the NECK up while I'm being waxed.
My Vay-JJ will not be on film.
I don't believe in nude scenes.

Everyone can breathe now!

Filmed my first documentary....

This weekend I filmed my question & answer segment of the "Why We Wax" documentary that my buddy Kimberly Wetherwell is shooting.
It is an interesting subject. People really have deep feelings about waxing.
Men and Women.
So far I am the main storyline, since I will be the "virgin" waxer.
I'm getting a Brazilian on film!
I know I'm a little crazy!
I will do a few shots before hand!
Seriously!

PRACTICE...

I'm bad and skipped practice Monday.
It was Ajna's b-day and I'm so glad that I went.
I had so much fun and now have a beautiful roof top garden bar to hang out at on the
LES!
I drug my Gay Husband with me.
I drag him everywhere these days.
It was so good seeing Ajna and her friends were the best.
I really want to hang out with them again.
I even liked her boo kitty. (I forget his name)

Tuesday
I enjoyed practice but I really need to get my lines down!
I would be so free to really get into character.
And do my thing!
My favorite character of the 3 right now is "The Lady in Plaid".
She is a nut and so overly dramatic.
I enjoy doing her.

HOW DARE YOU...


I was a little upset yesterday that only 1 other person besides myself & the director showed up for rehearsal last night.
I was able to work on my part and get direction, so that was cool.
Plus my parts are so fun to play.
But I want people to take this seriously!!

DORIS' AMAZING GRACE

What can I say about the photo shoot!
It was great fun!
I loved my hair, the photographer, & the models.
We had a great time!
I can't wait to post pics for you blog readers!

First Rehearsal...

Last Monday we had our first rehearsal!
It was cool. Only 3 of the cast members were there-but we all have multiple parts
So we still did a read through.
I love my characters!
They are full bodied and out of control.
It is straight Satire and Comedy!
My favorites in the acting game!

I'm so blessed and happy!

I will blog the journey...

My first practice is next Monday.
Since I have 3 very different parts, I will start to memorize my lines ASAP!
Tres important!

I know this will be a fun and interesting experience!
I pray that I make good friends out of it.
You can never have too many good friends.

Did I blog about the hair oil photo shoot?
If not here goes:
My friend Marlene's mother is a hairdresser and has used her own
concoction of hair oil on her clients for years.
They have decided to market it and sell it.
Marlene has asked me to represent the natural girl in the
photo shoot.
How cool.
Now even though I'm half permed half natural
when my hair is twisted or rod set it looks all natural so that's the look I'll
have.
My old buddy Joanne is doing our makeup!
I'm so excited!

Saturday Marlene's mom will determine if some of my permed hair needs to be cut!
Yikes!
Yes I know, I've rocked the fro in the past, but I don't really want a fro right now.
I love my pony tail!
But I'm not missing this opportunity!
So I'll cut if I must...

OMG-I've been missing in action...

I do apologize to my faithful readers AHall and KSD!!
I have been cast in "The Colored Museum"!!
I have 3 roles!! WOW!!
I'm Miss Pat;The Lady in Plaid;and LaWanda!
The show isn't until the end of September in Brooklyn.
How exciting!!
I better start memorizing!

Had fun but no go-

The audition was ok yesterday.
They only wanted me to wear lingerie on the stage.
No big deal to me.
But they wanted a cacasian actress.
I had asked the writer to let me audition (a sista) and she did.
I've learned a lesson about myself.
Tyra saidon ANTM that it is easier to pull a girl that goes overboard back then try to pull the life out of someone.
So I need to go overboard on these theatre auditions.
Lessons learned!

Racy Content...

Tonight I have an audition for a play that has racy content and simulated sex!
WHOA!!!
My mother is beside herself because she is co convinced that I will be the star of Players Ball 2.
I'm just auditioning.
Checking the script.
I may love it, I may think its garbage.
But I'll have fun!